Friday, 25 January 2013

The Donkey by Atar Hadari

Read by Keon Lee

You want the air conditioning on? We can put it on. I don’t mind the extra petrol. We fixed a price, it’s OK. We want to both be in one piece when we get there and not sweaty. Your wife’s asleep in back, already? Let her sleep. There, air conditioning. If you want something here you have to ask. God, I’m tired.

I had three trucks, on this road. Owned them. Used to do this trip, up and down, Afula to Jerusalem. Every day, full of paper, going to Jerusalem, seven times a week. And then this fuck with his bombs came and – this isn’t my truck. I lease this truck. Three trucks I had – gone. Sold. Did I keep the money? You’re a funny guy. One part went to my sister – we all went in shares – one part went to my sister, she bought her son a new leg. Artificial. One part went back to my cousin – he opened a grocery store. Now closed. One part came back to me – I eat and drink. No, I didn’t keep the money – that’s why I’m sitting here in someone else’s truck – driving you.



Colours by Graham Buchan

Read by Alex Milner

The job description on Danny Bannerman’s new business card was very straightforward: it said ‘Writer’. Not that Danny really needed a business card. He had a few regular clients who kept him in enough work, and he lived simply and inexpensively, so it wasn’t as if he had to actively market his skills. In fact he hadn’t thought of getting a business card at all; it was just that one afternoon he had half an hour to spare before his train at Victoria Station and there was a machine on the concourse which produced them. It was really just to amuse himself that he followed the machine’s instructions in designing the card, choosing the layout and selecting the colours and the fonts. When it came to filling in the line for the actual job description, for a moment, he considered ‘Wordsmith’, but immediately thought that that was really too pretentious. So he put ‘Writer’, and the whole process concluded with the machine coughing out his new emblems of identity. Fifty cards for four quid. Now he wondered who on earth he would give them to.





Air Harp by Cassie Gonzales

Read by Hin Leung

The man was mostly naked.

Kiki had seen him at the Burrito Palace and then again as he walked along the main road outside of town. She drove a hundred yards past him then pulled over and waited. When he caught up Kiki leaned over and said, “Where’re you going?”

“Fairgrounds,” said the man. His voice was like a dump truck on an unpaved road.

“Okay,” Kiki said, “get in.”

“Thanks,” he said.

He was big and used the frame of the door to lever himself in to the cab of the truck. A wide swath of gauzy fabric draped and shifted loosely around his waist and did a bad job of keeping his secrets.

The rodeo was always bringing crazies to town. The cowboys ended up at the pizzeria or the Burrito Palace wearing fringe and rhinestones, trying to sneak their horses in to the movie theatre or kiss you when you weren’t wanting to be kissed. Then a week later they’re gone and all you’re left with are hoof prints in the linoleum and a well-worn lasso that’s supposed to be a promise, but never actually is.




Morality Laws Aboard Noah's Ark by Jody Callahan

Read by Michael Charles Rogers

Archaeologists, theologians, historical scholars and general religious freaks have eagerly awaited the release of writings found on a stone tablet recently unearthed near Mount Ararat. What follows is an exact translation plus or minus 20 percent for accuracy from some strange biblical language into Hebrew then into Turkish then into Greek (just for fun) and finally into English. The Stone Tablet’s heading, which was found to use the traditional Times New Roman font in bold, reads:

Morality Laws for Wild Animals Aboard Noah’s Ark

aka: How to Survive 40 days and 40 nights without incurring the Wrath of God.

Beasts of the Ark, it is my God-given privilege as the Lord hath said, that I, Noah, am a Righteous Man. The Lord hath instructed me to shelter you, the clean and unclean animals, aboard mine ark during this time of the Great Flood. The Lord hath sent these waters to wash clear the earth of the wicked and wild ways of man. He hath spared us from death but, between you and me, the Big Guy has been known to change his mind. Let’s not incur the wrath of God by repeating the same wild ways of those humans that are now in the midst of drowning. I have thus reinterpreted God’s Laws for Humans for you wild beasts of mine ark.



Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Last Night...

...not the beginning of a great Strokes song, instead the beginning of Liars' League Hong Kong! We held our very first event last night.

LLHK piled into Fill In the Blank to perform on the penultimate night of the 'Our House' festival. The night kicked off with musical duo Nick & Isla joined by The Homestead, who serenaded us with folk melodies and covers from Once and Foster the People.


Left to right: Beth, Isla, Aaron and Nick

At 8pm we set ourselves up and were raring to go, Book of Lies in hand.

Left to right: Alex, Hin, Keon and Michael. Lovely expressions.
 
First up was Alex Milner, who read 'Colours' by Graham Buchan, a wistful and funny story about writing - but really about the good old days of the narrator's youth.


Alex Milner reading 'Colours' by Graham Buchan

Hin Leung told us all about an unusual rodeo contest in Cassie Gonzales' 'Air Harp'.


Hin Leung reading 'Air Harp' by Cassie Gonzales
 
Keon Lee was a taxi driver with one heck of a story to tell in 'The Donkey' by Atar Hadari.
 
Keon Lee reading 'The Donkey' by Atar Hadari

We finished up with Michael Rogers' hilarious ranting in Jody Callahan's 'Morality Laws Aboard Noah's Ark'.


Michael Rogers reading 'Morality Laws Aboard Noah's Ark' by Jody Callahan

Thanks to Tom Grundy at Hongwrong.com for his excellent videography skills (video to come soon), Lauren Every-Wortman for her generous photography, Fill In the Blank for hosting us and our sweaty legion, our actors for being just that good, the judges/MCs, the writers...and most of all you: the audience. Thanks for coming out!


Mesmerised?




Tom Grundy of Hongwrong.com and friends



Keon and Michael: because they're worth it. Totally.

Thursday, 17 January 2013

Ain't this pretty?

Here's our little official flyer for the 'Our House' mini-set on Tuesday.

Look closely and you'll see Liars' League London co-founder Katy!




See you there...

And the chosen stories are...

After much discussion (and wine) we have our eight stories for the very first Liars' League HK event - 'He & She':


Jervis Street Steve Dodd

Tempting Fate Paul Blaney

Oysters Brindley Hallam Dennis 

Threesome Robin Sweet

Sounds David William Hill 

He said, She said, Descriptions of the Sky E. P. Henderson 

Semi-detached Liam Hogan 

Life Cycle Michael Spring



Thanks to Katy, Marshall and Matt for their stellar judging skills!

We're already accepting submissions for our second event - 'Fairytales & Nightmares' - so please do submit again (and again and again) if you haven't been chosen this time round.

Happy lying!



Monday, 7 January 2013

Sunday, 6 January 2013

'Our House' festival

 
Happy New Year to all you beautiful, fantastic, sneaky liars out there!
 
Come along to watch Liars' League HK perform at 'Our House', a week-long creative festival at Fill In The Blank in Wanchai. We kick off at 6.50pm on the 22nd (Tuesday) and we'll be debuting our wonderfully talented actors. Our Liar judges will be about to answer any questions or queries too. Get your drinks from 711 - it's BYOB!